When I first had the itty bitty kernel of a thought in my head to actually start a new blog (which is very different from the itty bitty kernel of a thought in my head that I SHOULD someday maybe definitely start a new blog), I decided it would be best I apply the KISS principle. Which, in my mind stands for Keep It So Simple (because, I'm sorry, but Keep It Simple, Stupid just does NOT give me warm fuzzy feelings inside!).
I'd create like crazy and simply post everyday about what I'd created.
Then I purchased and read Tara Gentile's 52 Weeks Of Blogging Your Passion and realized I actually had so much more to say.
I then came up with the categories I wanted to cover.
Then, came the design. I really, really wanted something that I not only loved right now...but could continue to love for quite some time.
(Banner designs I started with, then nixed on the way to the current one.)
It took months of working on it off and on and then, finally, I was done, then took a look at the banner and kept thinking that it needed a tagline. People needed to know upon first glance what my blog is about (because let's be honest a title like "5 or 6 Kathys" without any further info might just make you think it's a blog about living with multiple personalities or quintuplets whom you all call Kathy in order to KISS and not have to remember all those names).
"Creating Without Limits" came to me and seemed just right.
It still seems pretty right.
I found a quote, which I put in the footer of the page: "Life isn't just about finding yourself...it's about creating yourself."
I wasn't quite sure it was such a great fit because at the time, in my head, I was still pretty convinced that the meat of this blog was going to be my creations.
But, oh, I guess it was very appropriate, because though I am doing a lot of creating, what I seem to be creating most is myself.
Nothing's happening in big sweeping changes -- transformation happens slowly, remember -- but it is happening. The thing that is most striking to me is how aware I'm becoming. Instead of just accepting status quo, my mind is questioning things. Noticing things.
And it makes sense that the most transformation happening would be within myself...because I am at the center of my life and my business, the two other things I want to transform. So it is fitting that the transforming would start with me and spread out.
I'm still not quite sure what this blog will end up being, so I do hope you'll stick with me as it grows and evolves and, yes, transforms. A lot of times I feel like I'm repeating myself or contradicting myself.
I think the repeating part is because I'm thinking so much about these things, sometimes it's hard to keep straight whether or not I've put my thoughts out there to you guys or have just simply rolled them over and over in my own head.
And the contradicting part comes from...assumptions versus knowledge.
Sometimes, we just assume things are true, but then when we examine them, we realize -- not so much.
"Most people bump up against their “rules” or limiting beliefs and don’t even stop to ask if they’re true.
That’s because it’s easier to blindly accept them than step out of our comfort zone." - Christine Kane
So I'll post something and a couple of weeks later realize...wait. That wasn't right. I guess it's because I'm not "blindly accepting" things anymore. I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and seeing things my eyes weren't open to before.
Like, a while back, I wrote a post that said that I don't like other people to see my weaknesses, that if I'm not naturally good at something, I'm not interested:
If I don't know how to do something and know how to do it well, I avoid. I am not fond of the guesswork, the unknown, the unsuccessful attempts on the road to practice making perfect. If I can't do it perfectly right off the bat, I just don't want to do it.
As we chatted, I had another epiphany, which got even further down to the root of the issue: I don't like failing...but I really don't like other people witnessing my failures.
Yeah, not only do I want to be perfect, I kind of want you to think I'm perfect. I do not like other people seeing my weaknesses.
I think out of that, there's one true statement: I am not fond of the unknown.
The rest can't be true because:
- I know for certain that exposing your weaknesses can be freeing -- and the very best way to begin overcoming them. And I do this without hesitation, knowing in my heart people relate to us when we're imperfectly human.
- I know that telling other people about our failures can be SO helpful -- to them AND us. I also do this without hesitation.
- I know for certain that I THRIVE when given a challenge -- figuring out how to do something I have no idea how to do.
Those statements I made before don't quite jive with these statements, do they?
And I realized, really, it's the element of the unknown that makes my guts squinch up with nausea and panic.
I need to know what happens next. I get very, very uncomfortable if I don't.
That is why I'm always at first resistant to changes (like the new Twitter, blech, yucky) that happen out of my control. That's why I have a tendency to get upset when things don't go my way (yeah, I'm five). That's why I'm a bit of a control freak about certain things.
But the laughable part of all this is: OUR ENTIRE FUTURES ARE UNKNOWN.
"An empirical fact about our lives is that we do not and cannot know what will happen a day or moment in advance." - Stephen Nachmanovitch
There is NOTHING certain.
"Ack! Everyone hide under your desk! Or… realize that you already deal with the unexpected every day of your life, regardless of whether you’ve ever given yourself credit for such deftness. " - Amanda Hirsch's response to the Nachmanovitch quote (from a guest post on Scoutie Girl)
So I might as well just learn to make friends with the unknown, yeah?
"Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads." - Erica Jong
I need to stop thinking of the unknown as a dark place. Stop thinking of it as a very steep cliff I'm about to fall off of into nothingness...and begin thinking of it as a great, wide open expanse of possibility and discovery. (If any of you can tell me how to program my brain to automatically think that way...please do!)
Anyway, with my business, with myself, with this blog I'll probably be trying on a bunch of shoes to see what fits. So don't be surprised if today I'm bragging about a pair of boots and declaring to wear them everyday...and then tell you next week that after actually wearing them three days in a row, I got huge blisters on my feet and dropped them off at Goodwill. The boots, not my feet. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Literally, I never wear anything except my gray Converses. And I rarely feel the urge to blog about shoes. Well, except now.
Keeping It So Simple was a good plan. When I wanted this blogging thing to be easy. But I don't want it to be easy. I want it to be good. For me and for you. And good takes work. And I'm okay with that. I have no idea where this blog will end up going -- I'm actually kind of excited to see.
Here's to the great, wide open expanse of possibility and discovery that stretches out in front of 5 Or 6 Kathys...and me...and you.
